A Taboo Topic

I want to talk about is Death, so often considered a Taboo Topic. I have often heard these
comments...

“Let’s not go there” or “I don’t want to think about it. It’s too depressing” or “If I ignore
thinking about it, maybe I can avoid it.” or” It’s too painful a topic; I would rather think happy
thoughts.”

So... death is not much talked about. But It’s been on my mind since, in the last two months,
five of the women in my circle have had to let go of their husbands or long-time partners who
recently died. For some, it was sudden and so shocking. For others, they took care of him as
he declined and finally passed over. Each of the women handles the grieving in different
ways, and they each do the best they can, given a life-altering event such as their loved one
dying.

This blog is not about letting go or holding on to grieving when someone dies (that is another
topic), but rather... how we come to terms with understanding and accepting that nothing,
nothing, and no one is permanent; everything dies. We see and acknowledge that
nobody gets out of here on earth without dying, and that death is but one more transition
each of us makes. Most often, we don’t have “an end date”. It’s the great unknown and a
fear of feeling l totally out of control as we let go of life...and die. This is the scary part.
What is it like to be dead? Nobody knows.

My teacher, Ram Dass said, “One of the best parts of aging is entering the ‘don’t know,’
learning to be someone who “can rest comfortably in uncertainty.”

The hard part, for many of us in our elder years, is the idea of a terrible end, attached to
machines, away from loved ones, and no longer having any quality of life. Suffering from this
outcome is not a happy thought. But fortunately, we live in a time when there are ways to
help us pass over in a more peaceful and accepting way. Organizations like Compassion and
Choices and End of Life Dignity are some of the places to help steer us in the final chapter of
our lives.

We may not know ahead of time what it is like to die. but two ways I have been helped to
understand is through my spiritual studies that teach me...we are not just this body, at death
we shed our body, but we are not dead. We are a Soul that lives on.

We have heard the stories from those with “near-death” experiences who have touched the
“afterlife’, found it to be a wonderful place to temporarily visit, and then returned to their life
to tell us of their experience and to reassure us that death is nothing to worry about.
Dying can be a blessing, especially when leaving behind the body that has been sick and
tired and is now ready to move on. Ram Dass described it “like taking off a right shoe.”

Letting go of fear and loathing when thinking of death is a great release. May we embrace
each day we are alive and give thanks for one more day on this earth. By being present in
the moment, the moment of death is just one. More moments, in the flow of life.

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P.S I welcome your comments. If you send me your thoughts, I will include them in my next
blog, while we keep this topic of death alive.