Aging isn’t just a biological process, it is also very much a cultural one. Unfortunately, our culture mostly considers getting old as a not-so-desirable time of life. Not too many of us would choose to be 70 or more, especially if we could remain in our prime, staying at 40 or maybe 50 years old. 
Our culture decides when we are “old.” I remember years ago when my Uncle Phil, known for his candor, looked closely at my face and told me, “Yup, you’ve got only a few more good years left.” I also recall an earlier time when I was seen as a “miss,” as in “May I help you, miss?”
Later, I was reclassified and was now called “ma’am.” I never liked to be called that name. It did not sound respectful to me. But it did give me pause, showing me that even though I still felt young inside, others were perceiving me as a person moving over the hill and down the inevitable decline.

With my birthday recently celebrated, I paused to reflect on my life as it is now, at this particular chronological age and stage. It was also a time to consider whether I am, in a sense, measuring up to the standards I have loosely set for myself. Simply put, in my life’s journey I aspire to do the best I can and be the best version of who I am meant to be. Though I sometimes fall short, still I keep trying to be entirely virtuous.

Not being well-read in the bible or the classics, I don’t recall how I first learned about the seven deadly sins and the seven heavenly virtues, but periodically I remember and think about each one, just to see how I (but also how our national leaders) are measuring up. Here is the list of the seven...

 If you have thought about this question for yourself, what have you concluded?

Perhaps you found the answer recently on, of all things, the social network Facebook. The buzz going around came from the quote, false though it turned out to be, from Pope Francis speaking about the difference between religion and spirituality. Now it has been revealed he never said you don’t need to believe in God to be a good person and he did not say you don’t need to go to church or give money to your church. Some among us who consider themselves to be non-religious applauded the visiting Pope for this revelation....even though now we know he never made that claim. 

                                                     Newburyport Daily News
                                                           August 2015

                                                       Angelena Craig

In the Boomer and Beyond years many of us find ourselves single, having lost our partner in one way or another. Still others have never, ever married and are happy enough with the status quo, staying single and independent. But, as we get older, some of the over-55 year olds, may change their minds and now find themselves with a growing desire for a  partner, a best friend and a helpmate. And why not? Is this not the best of all possible worlds? As long as we find the ‘right one” having someone you love at your side is a preferable road than walking it alone.

If you do want to find a meaningful and committed relationship (what may well be the last and best love of your life) it usually requires going through a process called dating... as a way of checking out the field and hopefully finding what it is your want for yourself.

You may be a bit rusty in your social skills when you begin the search for someone new, especially if you have been in a long marriage that started when you were young. Back then it was less challenging to find someone to love. They were just there, easily crossing your path. But now, meeting someone appropriate is not so automatic.

How to begin? Start by asking your friends for referrals... however know this has a low rate of return. But it is a start. And listen to their advise which may be:

“The best place to find a new relationship is to do what it is you love to do. Through an activity, you will meet similar people” 

However, this is not necessarily true. Just because you meet someone who shares your hobby, perhaps at the local bowling alley, does not necessarily mean you have anything more in common.

Your friends also tell you, “You have  to go out,  circulate, see and be seen.  They are never going to just walk through your door.”

Currently the most popular way to find or be found , if you don’t want to go out looking, is online dating. Huge amounts of singles have turned to the internet looking to date or to find a mate, and there are many success stories you will hear.

If you are too afraid to post your pictures or in anyway reveal who you really are, then you probably should not be doing internet dating because it does take some risk. The best attitude for on-line dating is be careful, go slow and know there are “players” out in cyber space. They are just playing with you, hoping to catch someone to have a little flirtation, especially if they are already married. Or, they may be prowling for sex or money.  It is good to remember that  “players” lie. They can be dishonest about their current photos, age, married status, criminal record, weight or employment.

However, that said, there are many good candidates for a relationship you will find on-line.  If you like how someone sounds by their descriptive words (knowing professional writers can be hired to put convincing words together),  then chat a bit through the dating site and soon, if it feels right. start using an email address or the phone. Should you then feel comfortable enough, take a risk and agree to meet at a public place for a cup or a glass of something.

Finding someone through the computer may not what you want to do so what are your options? Many report they have met someone they liked at a bar. (You don't have to be a drinker of alcohol to sit at a bar). There IS something to be said about people feeling more relaxed after a drink or two, and the lights are dim and maybe there is a band playing music that makes you want to move your body, and you feel flirty and have an attraction to someone you just met. You may then be  interested enough to set up a future date.

Perhaps the best way to approach in dating again, at our age, is to have high hopes (that you will meet some wonderful person just right for you), but at the same time have low expectations. knowing what often looks like the prince or princess turns out, in time, to be the frog.

Consider the balance between being too eager by jumping right in, without giving it time  to develop,  or the opposite of being too fearful to let someone get close to you, someone who might change your life in a better way. If you, as an aging boomer, think trading in the single life to become part of a couple would be a good thing, you might want to remind yourself,  “If not now, then when?”

 

      Have you heard this more than once from friends and maybe your health professional. They have told you,
      ”You should do Yoga. It will help you be more flexible, avoid many of the aches and pains of aging, and will definitely relax your mind.”
      Until now, you have not pursued starting, or restarting, a yoga practice. This could be because of one, or more, of the following myths and misconceptions surrounding what Yoga really is is. 

1.   THE MYTH 

      You have to be young, thin, and extremely flexible to do yoga.

     THE TRUTH 
      Those pictured in the magazines or on TV commercials are most likely to be ex-gymnasts OR they are advanced yogis demonstrating poses that only a small percentage of all yoga practitioners could possible execute. The majority of Boomers and Beyond who are doing yoga are of all ages, sizes, shapes and fitness levels. 
      Twisting our bodies into pretzel-like shapes is never, ever required. 

2.    THE MYTH

      Yoga is too far out; they’ll make you chant or do something weird. And it is probably too hard for me. I might get hurt.

     THE TRUTH 

      In our modern, westernized world yoga is made to be mainstream. You won’t be out of your element in a yoga class, as long as you find the right one for YOU. 

      While it is true some classes may include chanting or other more traditional parts of yoga, every teacher is different and styles of yoga do vary. 

     The intensity or the physicality can be anywhere from highly athletic to very gentle or restorative. For those who can nolong easily get up and down off the floor, Chair Yoga is a viable option, giving you the same benefits as a regular class.

3.   THE MYTH

     It’s too much work to find the right class for me.

     THE TRUTH:

      You can ask around for suggestions and just take a chance, or you might do further research, but it will be well worth it. If possible talk directly to a potential teacher and ask questions about their training and experience and the level of the class.

     It is best to start with a beginners series, or take a few individual, private classes to begin to learn yoga. It can be discouraging, and sometimes unsafe, to jump right into a class that may move too quickly, a class where you are not being taught yoga but rather required to just follow the leader.

4.    THE MYTH

     I can’t afford it.

      THE TRUTH

     If you join a gym, yoga is most often included in the price. If you take yoga at a studio dedicated to only teaching yoga, one group class may cost between $10 and $20. But the fee may be seen as a real bargain, especially when you consider how much better you will feel after class, comparing it to perhaps a  $70 massage.

5.  THE MYTH

     Yoga is a religion which may be in conflict with my own religious affiliation.
  
     THE TRUTH: 
 
     Yoga is not a religion. There is no church, no preaching, no doctrines or creeds. 

     You can use your yoga practice for the sole purpose of getting a great work out, while at the same time calming your mind. However, as your yoga practice develops, you may find you just naturally want to further explore the spiritual side of your nature. especially if it has been dormant or slow to develop. 

     If you are now ready to start doing Yoga. let go of the myths that have been holding you back and begin to reap the benefits of this ancient, complete system of self-improvement.

                                   YOGA WORKS; YOU JUST HAVE TO DO IT

We have all probably heard someone remark,  “She must have been a real beauty when she was younger” or “I bet he use to be a good looking man, back then.” 

Our societal attitudes regarding physical beauty tend to inform the way we regard aging and the accompanying “loss of beauty.”  For most boomers and beyond, we no longer have skin that is taut and smooth, hair full and shining, a  flat belly or a thin waistline.  Gone are those days.