Angelena's Blog

Relaxing...into aging

4/9/2017

As boomers, we have heard much from those in the anti-aging industry who want us to believe that if only we use certain products or buy their services, we can stop, or at least dramatically slow down, the aging process.

There are many false promises, but there is also quite a bit of truth in the statement, “If we take good care of ourselves by eating well, exercising often and relaxing the mind, we can avoid many of the challenges of getting old.”
Is it possible to shift our perspective away from anti-aging to pro-aging? Maybe that’s asking too much, but we can decide to go with, rather than resist, the arrival of those milestone years like 70 or 80 or 90. We in the boomer generation never thought we would get old, but “here we are,” at least by the age indicated on our birth certificate. The oldest of our generation can now be called septuagenarians.

Don't Call Me Ma'am

9/24/2016

Aging isn’t just a biological process, it is also very much a cultural one. Unfortunately, our culture mostly considers getting old as a not-so-desirable time of life. Not too many of us would choose to be 70 or more, especially if we could remain in our prime, staying at 40 or maybe 50 years old.
Our culture decides when we are “old.” I remember years ago when my Uncle Phil, known for his candor, looked closely at my face and told me, “Yup, you’ve got only a few more good years left.” I also recall an earlier time when I was seen as a “miss,” as in “May I help you, miss?”
Later, I was reclassified and was now called “ma’am.” I never liked to be called that name. It did not sound respectful to me. But it did give me pause, showing me that even though I still felt young inside, others were perceiving me as a person moving over the hill and down the inevitable decline.

Remember...Be Here Now

9/1/2016

Boomer Talk September 2016 Angelena Craig

“Remember: Be Here Now”

For some of our generation, coming of age during the 1960’s and into the mid ‘70‘s created huge shifts in our thinking and our way of life. We chose to do things differently than our parents, rejecting the values of their more traditional culture. We were a part, in some measure, of what became known as the counterculture, challenging nearly every aspect of American life ... the inequality of women and African Americans, and the war in Viet Nam We let our hair grow long and danced with abandonment to rock and roll music. We experimented with drugs (particularly marijuana and psychedelics) and explored free love.

All these “revolutionary” changes made an impact on our generation, whether viewed from afar or deeply immersed in that era of transformation. When the Beatles, at the height of their popularity in1968 traveled to India to find something all their fame and fortune could not give them, like peace of mind, we took note and this too influenced our way of thinking about what was important.

Recently, I was reminded of those turbulent times when I listened to Clara Bingham, author of “Witness to the Revolution” as she chronicled all that happened in just one year, the period between August 1969 and September 1970. She shared in great detail much of the political history, brought forth through interviews, research and “being there” as a witness. You may recall some of the highlights of that year....the trial of the Chicago Eight, the My Lai massacre, the first efforts to publish the Pentagon Papers, the Altamonte festival. Also to be remembered was the rise of the Weather Underground. the invasion of Cambodia, Kent State, and the bombing of the Army Math Research Center in Madison, Wis.

And then there was Woodstock. It was one big year, for sure.

At the end of her hour-long lecture, Clara Bingham mentioned that, obviously, not everyone was part of the radical political movement. Instead some of us were making our own political statement by changing our lives, mostly through the influences of Eastern philosophy and humanistic psychology.

I was first exposed to my teacher, Ram Dass, soon after he returned from India. Formerly known as Dr. Richard Alpert, he had been an esteemed professor of psychology who, with his good friend Timothy Leary, was fired from Harvard University for their research projects involving psychedelic drugs. in 1967 the now unemployed Alpert traveled to India where he ultimately met the man who would become his guru, Neem Karoli Baba.

Through listening to the Ram Dass’ audio tapes and seeing him several times in Boston, I learned of his life-altering spiritual transformation. In 1971 he first published “Remember: Be Here Now”. The book sold for a mere $3.33, with some of the proceeds going to charity. Although the price has gone up a bit, it is still in print, having sold over 2 million copies. “Remember Be here Now” has been called the “counterculture bible” and seminal to the era, but to this day it continues to influence spiritual seekers of all ages.

Whether seen as “a bible,” or merely an interesting look at what “the hippies” were about, the message (forty-five years later), is still relevant for boomers and those beyond. However, anyone who is curious and wanting to explore the secrets of the East, and a yogic way of life, will find much of value in the book.

As the name implies, be here now is about being present and in the moment, rather than in reliving the past or jumping into the future, or doing too many things at one time. Our aging boomer generation especially needs to be mindful and aware of where the body is in space, so we can stay balanced and on our feet. Part of continuing to grow and evolve into the best version of our selves requires we stay conscious of our thoughts, of our feelings, our words and our deeds. But, also there are the more mundane and practical reasons for mindfulness... like remembering, where oh where did we put those keys?

Redefining Old Age

6/13/2016

Those in the boomer vanguard turned seventy this year, a marker that traditionally indicates you are in the “old” category, no longer middle aged. This can be hard to fathom for many of this generation. We thought we would never get old, we lived for “the day”, in a kind of free wheeling way.

Who wants to be old? Our society, unlike some others, gives old age a bad rap. It is not thought to be the most desirable of all the stages in one’s life, not at all. Partly to blame is the huge anti-aging industry, those businesses and corporations on a campaign to sell their products or services so we can prevent getting aged. They helped create the idea that looking and feeling old was not what we wanted.

Measuring Up

6/13/2016

With my birthday recently celebrated, I paused to reflect on my life as it is now, at this particular chronological age and stage. It was also a time to consider whether I am, in a sense, measuring up to the standards I have loosely set for myself. Simply put, in my life’s journey I aspire to do the best I can and be the best version of who I am meant to be. Though I sometimes fall short, still I keep trying to be entirely virtuous.

Not being well-read in the bible or the classics, I don’t recall how I first learned about the seven deadly sins and the seven heavenly virtues, but periodically I remember and think about each one, just to see how I (but also how our national leaders) are measuring up. Here is the list of the seven...

Religion and Spirituality...what's the difference?

12/14/2015

If you have thought about this question for yourself, what have you concluded?

Perhaps you found the answer recently on, of all things, the social network Facebook. The buzz going around came from the quote, false though it turned out to be, from Pope Francis speaking about the difference between religion and spirituality. Now it has been revealed he never said you don’t need to believe in God to be a good person and he did not say you don’t need to go to church or give money to your church. Some among us who consider themselves to be non-religious applauded the visiting Pope for this revelation....even though now we know he never made that claim.

Boomer Talk: Stand up straight for your health

12/14/2015

Posted: Friday, November 6, 2015 3:00 am

Maybe you remember your mother telling you to stop slouching and stand up straight. Or she may have encouraged you to place a pile of books on your head and attempt to walk around the room in a perfectly balanced way so the books stayed put.

I remember resenting my mother’s continual hounding to stand up straight, but the thing is ... Mom was right. Good posture has its important benefits.

For one thing with proper posture, you are far less likely to trip and take a fall, something that becomes of real concern as we aging boomers, and those beyond, become less steady on our feet. By looking straight ahead, rather than down, our body is more in balance and we have a clearer picture of what’s going on in the world around us.

Boomers Dating...once more

8/27/2015

Newburyport Daily News
August 2015

Angelena Craig

In the Boomer and Beyond years many of us find ourselves single, having lost our partner in one way or another. Still others have never, ever married and are happy enough with the status quo, staying single and independent. But, as we get older, some of the over-55 year olds, may change their minds and now find themselves with a growing desire for a partner, a best friend and a helpmate. And why not? Is this not the best of all possible worlds? As long as we find the ‘right one” having someone you love at your side is a preferable road than walking it alone.

If you do want to find a meaningful and committed relationship (what may well be the last and best love of your life) it usually requires going through a process called dating... as a way of checking out the field and hopefully finding what it is your want for yourself.

You may be a bit rusty in your social skills when you begin the search for someone new, especially if you have been in a long marriage that started when you were young. Back then it was less challenging to find someone to love. They were just there, easily crossing your path. But now, meeting someone appropriate is not so automatic.

How to begin? Start by asking your friends for referrals... however know this has a low rate of return. But it is a start. And listen to their advise which may be:

“The best place to find a new relationship is to do what it is you love to do. Through an activity, you will meet similar people”

However, this is not necessarily true. Just because you meet someone who shares your hobby, perhaps at the local bowling alley, does not necessarily mean you have anything more in common.

Your friends also tell you, “You have to go out, circulate, see and be seen. They are never going to just walk through your door.”

Currently the most popular way to find or be found , if you don’t want to go out looking, is online dating. Huge amounts of singles have turned to the internet looking to date or to find a mate, and there are many success stories you will hear.

If you are too afraid to post your pictures or in anyway reveal who you really are, then you probably should not be doing internet dating because it does take some risk. The best attitude for on-line dating is be careful, go slow and know there are “players” out in cyber space. They are just playing with you, hoping to catch someone to have a little flirtation, especially if they are already married. Or, they may be prowling for sex or money. It is good to remember that “players” lie. They can be dishonest about their current photos, age, married status, criminal record, weight or employment.

However, that said, there are many good candidates for a relationship you will find on-line. If you like how someone sounds by their descriptive words (knowing professional writers can be hired to put convincing words together), then chat a bit through the dating site and soon, if it feels right. start using an email address or the phone. Should you then feel comfortable enough, take a risk and agree to meet at a public place for a cup or a glass of something.

Finding someone through the computer may not what you want to do so what are your options? Many report they have met someone they liked at a bar. (You don't have to be a drinker of alcohol to sit at a bar). There IS something to be said about people feeling more relaxed after a drink or two, and the lights are dim and maybe there is a band playing music that makes you want to move your body, and you feel flirty and have an attraction to someone you just met. You may then be interested enough to set up a future date.

Perhaps the best way to approach in dating again, at our age, is to have high hopes (that you will meet some wonderful person just right for you), but at the same time have low expectations. knowing what often looks like the prince or princess turns out, in time, to be the frog.

Consider the balance between being too eager by jumping right in, without giving it time to develop, or the opposite of being too fearful to let someone get close to you, someone who might change your life in a better way. If you, as an aging boomer, think trading in the single life to become part of a couple would be a good thing, you might want to remind yourself, “If not now, then when?”

Before Starting a Yoga Practice... 5 things to know

7/27/2015

Have you heard this more than once from friends and maybe your health professional. They have told you,
”You should do Yoga. It will help you be more flexible, avoid many of the aches and pains of aging, and will definitely relax your mind.”
Until now, you have not pursued starting, or restarting, a yoga practice. This could be because of one, or more, of the following myths and misconceptions surrounding what Yoga really is is.

1. THE MYTH

You have to be young, thin, and extremely flexible to do yoga.

   THE TRUTH
Those pictured in the magazines or on TV commercials are most likely to be ex-gymnasts OR they are advanced yogis demonstrating poses that only a small percentage of all yoga practitioners could possible execute. The majority of Boomers and Beyond who are doing yoga are of all ages, sizes, shapes and fitness levels.
Twisting our bodies into pretzel-like shapes is never, ever required.

2. THE MYTH

Yoga is too far out; they’ll make you chant or do something weird. And it is probably too hard for me. I might get hurt.

   THE TRUTH

In our modern, westernized world yoga is made to be mainstream. You won’t be out of your element in a yoga class, as long as you find the right one for YOU.

While it is true some classes may include chanting or other more traditional parts of yoga, every teacher is different and styles of yoga do vary.

The intensity or the physicality can be anywhere from highly athletic to very gentle or restorative. For those who can nolong easily get up and down off the floor, Chair Yoga is a viable option, giving you the same benefits as a regular class.

3. THE MYTH

It’s too much work to find the right class for me.

   THE TRUTH:

You can ask around for suggestions and just take a chance, or you might do further research, but it will be well worth it. If possible talk directly to a potential teacher and ask questions about their training and experience and the level of the class.

It is best to start with a beginners series, or take a few individual, private classes to begin to learn yoga. It can be discouraging, and sometimes unsafe, to jump right into a class that may move too quickly, a class where you are not being taught yoga but rather required to just follow the leader.

4. THE MYTH

I can’t afford it.

THE TRUTH

If you join a gym, yoga is most often included in the price. If you take yoga at a studio dedicated to only teaching yoga, one group class may cost between $10 and $20. But the fee may be seen as a real bargain, especially when you consider how much better you will feel after class, comparing it to perhaps a $70 massage.

5. THE MYTH

Yoga is a religion which may be in conflict with my own religious affiliation.

   THE TRUTH:

Yoga is not a religion. There is no church, no preaching, no doctrines or creeds.

You can use your yoga practice for the sole purpose of getting a great work out, while at the same time calming your mind. However, as your yoga practice develops, you may find you just naturally want to further explore the spiritual side of your nature. especially if it has been dormant or slow to develop.

If you are now ready to start doing Yoga. let go of the myths that have been holding you back and begin to reap the benefits of this ancient, complete system of self-improvement.

   YOGA WORKS; YOU JUST HAVE TO DO IT

Beauty and The Aging Beast

6/3/2015

We have all probably heard someone remark, “She must have been a real beauty when she was younger” or “I bet he use to be a good looking man, back then.”

Our societal attitudes regarding physical beauty tend to inform the way we regard aging and the accompanying “loss of beauty.” For most boomers and beyond, we no longer have skin that is taut and smooth, hair full and shining, a flat belly or a thin waistline. Gone are those days.