 I am asked that question infrequently now, and usually by someone who has not yet learned they should never ask a woman how old she is, after a certain age. Personally, I don’t mind all that much, but the truth is sometimes, well sometimes, I lie. If and when I do reveal my chronological age, I am usually met with disbelief, so why bother? Telling your birthday, like your weight, should not be common knowledge. And besides, there is the disturbing prevalence of “ageism”, just as harmful as racism and all the other societal “isms”.
My preference is to consider one's true age, rather than relying on the date printed on a birth certificate, by consulting the test results provided by a whole-health physician, such as the respected Dr. Oz or Dr. Weil. They assess all the diverse factors to determine your actual age. They look at your mind, your body, and your lifestyle, and then come up with a marker for your “real” age. Chronology might say you are sixty, but your physical health could reveal you to be much older or younger, depending. Your mind may show you how much you have aged when you are no longer thinking clearly. Your attitudes may reveal you to be old-fashioned and inflexible or, hopefully, you have accepted and grown with the changing times in which we now live. You might ask yourself, “What are my assumptions about aging?” Do you feel old? Do you believe you are already “over the hill”, or fast approaching that part of life? Do you assume, with age, you are likely to become depressed, diseased, decrepit, and then die? Only one thing is predetermined, and no getting around it; each of us will die, but in the meantime, we may live a life of vitality and joy. Longevity may not be a universal goal for everyone; there are growing numbers who do not hold a long life in high regard... unless it a life with some degree of high quality. We boomers, more than past generations, are looking at our late-in-life choices and considering just how do we stay young and healthy. Good health depends on many different factors, starting with the genes, but our inherited biology is just one part of the equation. I look at my own family of origin. Folks tended to get sick and die younger than they might have. However, they all had a sedentary lifestyle and ate high-fat diets. It is with relish I remember my grandmother’s noodle pudding made with two pounds of white noodles, a pound of butter, equal amounts of cottage cheese and cream cheese. That family dish was delicious, it is true, but down the road they each became sick with cancer and heart conditions. The scientific evidence is in. It is almost always suggested if we want to stay in good health, we need to pay attention to our diet and the supplements we take. A Mediterranean diet, primarily fresh organic vegetables and fruits and nuts and legumes is often recommended. Should we decide diet matters, we can let go of certain foods and eat more of the healthy choices, but as one wise elder once told me, “ Its not what you eat, its what’s eating you.” If stress eats away at you, it doesn’t matter what foods or supplements you ingest. You still may very well become ill. Living with constant stress can be regarded as the number one destroyer of our life. All the research has also show us we need to have a regular program of exercise Of course, you may resonate with Phyllis Diller who said, “My idea of exercise is a good brisk sit. “ But should you decide to start a serious exercise program, you need to have three parts to your routine.... 1. Flexibility training (the Yogis say, ”You are only as young as your spine is flexible”, 2 Strength training for the muscles and bones. 3. Aerobic exercise to keep the heart and lungs strong. It is also suggested that we need to exercise the mind, doing puzzles or learning a new skill. Researchers are working nonstop to prevent dementia, so rampant in this aging population, but we have to do our part to help prevent the loss of our minds. Other factors in slowing down aging include having a strong social network and a sense of being relevant still, by contributing to having a job to do, whether paid or as a volunteer Is there room for improvement in your life? As Dylan Thomas reminds us, "Rage, rage against the dying of the light", or do you prefer to give up and give in by going gently into that good night?
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 Hate is a strong word and, like love, it is used too often, casually in everyday conversation. “I hate the heat; I love the beach.” But this summer, perhaps more than any other, hate is felt for “the other side”, those people who do not agree with our beliefs and our set of values.
We as a nation are so divided, it’s makes you question what happened to our American pledge of allegiance, “one nation under God, indivisible, with liberty and justice for all." Opinions are being loudly and aggressively expressed. The two sides have taken their stance. There are the liberals and the conservatives, with maybe a few moderates in between. There are the traditional blue states and the red states; there are those watching either CNN or FOX while hoping not to miss any breaking news of the day. We either adhere to women’s rights to govern themselves, and thus favor legal abortions, or think of it as baby-killing. Should we forcibly keep out the immigrants, or do we honor the message which greeted our forefathers upon entry by ship into the USA? Carved onto the Statue of Liberty are these words, “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.” Unhappily immersed, as I am, in this summer of hate, I like to turn my vision back to the “summer of love” in the year 1967. Although like most boomers I did not call myself “a flower child”, but still I was very aware of the estimated seventy-five thousand who over the summer flocked to the Haight-Asbury district in San Francisco. That segment of our generation, the hippies, chose to abandon the traditional values of their parents and adopt a freer way of life They sometimes lived together in communes or co-ops, grew their hair long, wore unconventional clothes, liked to go barefoot and smoke marajuana... and were not afraid to express themselves verbally, or sexually. They felt passionate about being free to follow their bliss, as long as it did not harm anyone else. That summer, those promoting a cultural revolution adopted the words of the newest Beatles song, “All You Need is Love” .Peace and love; love and peace was the only way to live. They were so hopeful, believing surely a better future lay ahead, believing they had enough power to make a difference. And here we are this summer of 2025, feeling much despair, having become either cynical or numb. Try as we might to ignore the impact on us, we can’t help but to absorb the sufferings of the world, from the desperate migrants seeking asylum, the ever-increasing natural disasters, the risings suicide rates. The harassment and persecution of others who are different from us, and the frequent gun-killings. Harsh political discord implodes us daily Fear may be thought of as the foundation of hatred. There are those who say, “I fear we are moving into a fascist state, with our personal rights being eroded. I fear most of us do not realize what is going on” The other side says “I fear they want to take away our guns or give away our money to those on the dole... like the immigrants swarming over our border or wh have illegally lived off of us, committing crimes, taking our jobs.” This pervasive division now permeates new and unusual arenas... like internet dating. A friend of mine, on match.com was writing back and forth to a man who sounded like a viable possibility for a relationship, But then, he let her know he was ending all future communications. He told her, “I was interested in you until I reread you profile and saw you checked the box saying you are a liberal. No way do I want to go further with you.” In a conversation I recently had, while waiting in the doctor’s office, a man told me he regretted moving to the next town which was in a different county. Since his political affiliation was to a party different from the new county’s government, he told me they knew how he voted from the records, and so were giving him a hard time on assessments and taxes. How do we deal with all these strong, unhappy feelings swirling within us and around us? Here are a few choices to raise the spirits... Be in better control of the information we allow to come into our consciousness, limiting the time spent on the reporting of the news. Watch and monitor our reactivity; become aware of how the bad news is affecting our mood, our stress level, our blood pressure. Finding ways to distress is especially warranted in these tumultuous times. To reduce the stress, it is advised that we eat well, exercise almost every day, get enough sleep, and practice meditation Become more proactive in supporting those we want in power, those who are on “our side”, by helping to get out the vote and by donating dollars. Be inspired by the Buddhist philosophy expressed by Jack Kornfield, “In every part of our lives, we have the opportunity to listen to one another, respectfully. Even when others in our society are not yet doing so, we can model wisdom and compassion, and plant seeds of goodness, trusting that good seeds are never lost…in time they will inevitably bear fruit.” This last suggestion, although a worthy goal, may be, realistically, too far beyond our current capabilities, but we can always send out a prayer. ”May we, in our lifetime, see hate turn to love. May we live from a place where there is, ultimately, no “them or us”; there is only One.” |