By now we boomers have noticed this “aging business”  has its definite drawbacks, including challenging losses.  One of the first signs of an age-related decline comes when we can’t remember a word that is on the tip of our tongue but try as we may, it can’t be found. We feel frustrated, even angry at ourselves...until we learn to laugh at it,  realizing memory loss is a part of boomer life. This is one of several minor inconvenience that come as we move along in age and it helps to just accept them. Big deal, we forget or name or two.

However, this loss of recall starts to really get in the way of quality living when, for instance, we can’t find the keys you were positive you left on the table by the door,  or we don’t remember where we last saw the cell phone or credit card, and we have not a clue where, in the large parking lot, we left our car. We may have said to ourselves, “I can’t find it; I feel like I am losing my mind.”

No longer is this a fleeting inconvenience. Carelessly losing something we need wastes our time and takes our effort and so it does require we put some of our attention on the problem. The good news is we do have some control over feeling aged and worrying over future declines.

The concept and practice of “mindfulness”, inherited from the Buddhist tradition, is increasingly being recommended and then followed by those seeking to relieve anxiety, addictions, depression and chronic pain. But, in truth, anyone can benefit from practicing awareness.

“Pay attention”. 
“Watch your step”. 

This was good advice probably told to us first when we were kids. Now, as we move along in the years, it behooves us to develop mindfulness (meaning: awareness) so that we stay healthy and we continue to grow. It is beneficial, in one’s day to day life, to be awake and aware of the body and its sensations, and to notice the thoughts and feelings that come up, and to watch the words we speak and  the actions we take.

Although this is no easy task, staying aware, this quality of mindfulness can be nurtured and developed.

When we put our mind on the task at hand (like not loosing the keys or the cell phone, again) it requires consciously and deliberately placing the object where you know it will be when you go to look for it. 

I have learned,  to save myself from wandering around endlessly in a large parking lot, by saying out loud, 

  “I am aware that I am parking the car in the fourth row on the left side of the building”.  

Practicing mindfulness also comes in handy when we are preparing a meal (“did I already add the salt?”) and certainly it is important while driving a car. At long last our society is becoming aware of the danger of talking or texting while at the wheel and laws are now being enforced to stop this reckless behavior.

We as boomers are perhaps starting to see our physical balance is not what it use to be.  We trip and fall more easily, especially in icy conditions. More and more we have to put our mind on our body and watch our step, paying attention to where we are as we move through space.

Another area where mindfulness is crucial is in our  personal relationships.  We all have seen how a careless word or a thoughtless action can get us in big trouble. Instead, when we become mindful of how we speak to and how we behave with the important people in our lives, less friction can occur. When we notice something is bothering us, it is a good idea to learn and consciously practice our communication skills, so that we respond appropriately, rather than reacting irrationally, saying things we may later regret.

  Minding the mind does take practice, but it is one more step on the path to creating a more peaceful and rewarding life.

Dating can be challenging for anyone of any age, but for boomers it is even more so when you consider your social skills may be a bit rusty and your thinking old fashioned, especially if you are coming out of a long term marriage.  Add to this you may be dealing with left over “baggage” including difficult adult children, older parents requiring your undivided attention, grief or anger over the last close relationship. Beyond this you may be inflexible and unwilling to change old habits and routines. There may be a loss of confidence in attracting someone new due to sagging skin and the extra weight you have put on. You may have to see yourself in a new way, with a different identity from perhaps wife and mother or husband and provider.

Setting out to explore the field of available singles, figuring out what you really want in a partner, all this may take some time and a lot of practice. It can be a frustrating and even scary journey, but one that can not be rushed, like looking for a new job.

Your goal may simply be you want to meet new people and you are not looking for anything too serious. Or you may have high hopes and expectations that you will find someone, the right someone, who will be a lover/helpmate/best friend/partner.

Some say you can’t look for love, it just happens. After all, the right one could be browsing in the local book store or standing in line at the market. Or you may have heard, “Do what you like to do and then you will attract someone with similar interests”. 

There are those who use new-age thinking and the laws of attraction to bring in a partner. They are encouraged to envision their future mate and make a list of all the qualities they seek in another, being very clear and specific. Prayer, asking Divine Intelligence to send them someone to love, can be what works for you.

And then there are still those who take a more pro-active approach, doing everything in their power to become a couple. They start by asking their friends to introduce them to appropriate people, or they go to events held for singles. More and more use the internet for finding dates. Boomers may be skeptical or embarrassed to try on line dating, but people over age 50 make up Match.com’s fastest-growing segment of users, with a 300 percent increase since 2000. We all know someone who met their mate through this avenue. Caution definitely is advised since there are a lot of “game players” out there making up stories to lure you in and setting you up for disappointment.

Couplehood at this age is not just about companionship. When it comes to relationships, 84 percent of boomers rank physical intimacy as being important or very important. Staying sexual is now definitely recommended by the medical world as a key ingredient in remaining youthful, no matter what your age.

After finding romance and love comes the “honeymoon period” when all is well between you two and you only see the good in each other. It is a happy time, the beginning, and if you choose wisely hopefully you continue to be happy... but it does require work.  

Having similar values, for starters, is important including how you feel about sex, money, politics and religion. Perhaps the most important quality to look for at this stage in life is the ability to communicate well, both talking about feelings and listening to the other. When things fall apart, and they just might, being able to have clear communication is the best guarantee for longevity. Throw in a sense of humor and the odds for success increases. Being able to laugh at ourselves, seeing just how ridiculous arguing about silly things can be,  may bring forth the turning point. You can decide;   do you want to stand your ground because you think you are right or do you want a harmonious relationship?

Almost every one of us has the very same desire. To be all important to one other person, to be with someone who has your back, stands in your corner, understands and respects you as an individual. This ingredient is a key factor in maintaining physical and emotional health.  

Never despair that you are too old to find what you want and need of intimacy, companionship, true love, and passion. It can be yours, at any age.