“I will be happy when my true love comes along; when I have more money and things; when I’m thin again; when springtime comes again.”
Boomers, and those beyond, might eventually come to understand life doesn’t work like that. We are required to be content no matter what, if we want peace of mind.
Instead, we can look to the gains of aging, perhaps at last coming to terms with who we are and how life shows up for us. Accepting our true and individual nature is one sign of the mature person. I am who I am. Choosing to keep learning, to continue growing no matter what the age, is another sure sign of maturity.
Let us consider acceptance and contentment in relationships. We can learn to let go of our grievances with another, forgiving their foibles because we really love the person. and at the same time recognizing we too have our own little, and not so little, faults. We can yield to the fact that no one person can fill all our needs and therefore come to respect what it is we have with another that is sustaining.
But what about someone living with neglect and abuse? Can we agree that this is simply not acceptable? It is a fact that too many stay in abusive and sometimes dangerous relationships, accepting the other person’s occasional or even ongoing hurtful treatment. Abuse may be verbal, economic, physical or sexual. but none of it is acceptable. Acceptance of bad behavior is unhealthy and unwise.
If you are in an abusive situation, It is so easy to make excuses for someone you love....
“ Well, they’re not always bad to me and they apologize later.”
“ I think they are changing, or at least they say they want to change.”
“I can tolerate anything as long as I’m not left alone.”
And then there are those marriages that can not be saved, even after trying, and then trying some more, to make it right. It is then we may be forced to accept final separation is called for.
Letting go is so difficult for some. Coming to terms with the end of what was once a love relationship may call for more clarity and great fortitude. Staying out of “blame” helps to accept the situation as it is and move on. It is a process and sometimes takes awhile.
“Progress, not Perfection” is a worthy short term goal and in the long run, moving with Santosha, contentment can lead to Peace of Mind... the one thing each of us wants and needs for health and longevity.