Setting out to explore the field of available singles, figuring out what you really want in a partner, all this may take some time and a lot of practice. It can be a frustrating and even scary journey, but one that can not be rushed, like looking for a new job.
Your goal may simply be you want to meet new people and you are not looking for anything too serious. Or you may have high hopes and expectations that you will find someone, the right someone, who will be a lover/helpmate/best friend/partner.
Some say you can’t look for love, it just happens. After all, the right one could be browsing in the local book store or standing in line at the market. Or you may have heard, “Do what you like to do and then you will attract someone with similar interests”.
There are those who use new-age thinking and the laws of attraction to bring in a partner. They are encouraged to envision their future mate and make a list of all the qualities they seek in another, being very clear and specific. Prayer, asking Divine Intelligence to send them someone to love, can be what works for you.
And then there are still those who take a more pro-active approach, doing everything in their power to become a couple. They start by asking their friends to introduce them to appropriate people, or they go to events held for singles. More and more use the internet for finding dates. Boomers may be skeptical or embarrassed to try on line dating, but people over age 50 make up Match.com’s fastest-growing segment of users, with a 300 percent increase since 2000. We all know someone who met their mate through this avenue. Caution definitely is advised since there are a lot of “game players” out there making up stories to lure you in and setting you up for disappointment.
Couplehood at this age is not just about companionship. When it comes to relationships, 84 percent of boomers rank physical intimacy as being important or very important. Staying sexual is now definitely recommended by the medical world as a key ingredient in remaining youthful, no matter what your age.
After finding romance and love comes the “honeymoon period” when all is well between you two and you only see the good in each other. It is a happy time, the beginning, and if you choose wisely hopefully you continue to be happy... but it does require work.
Having similar values, for starters, is important including how you feel about sex, money, politics and religion. Perhaps the most important quality to look for at this stage in life is the ability to communicate well, both talking about feelings and listening to the other. When things fall apart, and they just might, being able to have clear communication is the best guarantee for longevity. Throw in a sense of humor and the odds for success increases. Being able to laugh at ourselves, seeing just how ridiculous arguing about silly things can be, may bring forth the turning point. You can decide; do you want to stand your ground because you think you are right or do you want a harmonious relationship?
Almost every one of us has the very same desire. To be all important to one other person, to be with someone who has your back, stands in your corner, understands and respects you as an individual. This ingredient is a key factor in maintaining physical and emotional health.
Never despair that you are too old to find what you want and need of intimacy, companionship, true love, and passion. It can be yours, at any age.